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I started suspecting infidelity

My husband (Mike) and I appeared to have a pretty good life.  We lived in a nice neighborhood and had 2 kids.  We had our typical marital issues as everyone does, but it all came into question. 

My husband travels from time to time for his job.  He owns his own consulting business and works hard so I can stay home with the kids.  He was always very busy and would squeeze in time for our kids’ sports or other activities when he needed to, although he started becoming more and more disconnected.  I started feeling as though we were living separate lives and he when he was with us; he was not fully “present”. 

Finally, last month, I was supposed to take the kids for a few days to my parents. The timing was good since they were off of school for the summer.  They live about 75 miles away and the plan was to give Mike a chance to work late without worrying about what time he got home. 

He used to call us every night when we were apart.  This time we had to call him – and the first night, he didn’t answer at work, home or on his cell.  I just didn’t have a good feeling about it.  He called later from his cell and had some vague excuse about being with a client.  The day we left, though, he clearly said he did not have any plans in the evenings except just to get work done. 

Fast forward to when we got home, I noticed a couple of things didn’t seem right.  I could have sworn I smelled the scent of perfume on his clothes. 

If this sounds familiar and your suspicions of infidelity are driving you crazy, it is time to call AISG.  Advanced Investigative Services Group can help you find the evidence you need or can clear your suspicions.  You deserve to know the truth.

Not sure?  This checklist can help you look at your situation objectively: “How do you know if your spouse is being unfaithful?”  If you think you need to dig deeper, please call.  We know it’s a hard time for you – many of us have been there.  We handle these situations with sensitivity and compassion.

When office dating turns to stalking

When Jessica first met Tom, he was working in a different department of the company they both worked for.  They needed to interact whenever she came in to his office to deliver papers and he was always polite and kind to her.  They would always make light conversation and over time, he seemed very interested in giving her his full attention whenever she came into the department.  One day he asked her if she wanted to grab a bite to eat for lunch and that was the start of their dating relationship.  She thought he made her feel special.  “He always told me how beautiful I was and how lucky any man would be to have me.”   Jessica was only 22 and just started her first job out of college.  Tom was a little older and she liked that he would take her to the finest restaurants and insisted on buying new things for her all the time.  “At first, I loved the attention and how he made me feel.  After we went out for a couple of months though, he started to become controlling and tried to tell me what to do.  Since he was 9 years older than me, I guess I let him treat me this way and told myself he just cares about me and worries about me.” 

Eventually, when Tom completely overreacted when Jessica went out with a few co-workers after work, she decided she had enough and broke up with him.

The stalking started with phone calls during and after work.  “He would try to convince me that I was wrong and try to blame me for how our relationship deteriorated.  I never took the call if I knew it was him.  He would leave long voicemail messages from one extreme to the other – either apologizing or yelling at me and accusing me of cheating while we dated . . . things like that.  Then he started hanging around when it was time to go home.  I would continually hear people from my office reporting that they saw him lurking around my car in the parking lot.  Some of the other guys I worked with offered to walk me to my car at night just to keep me safe.  Once one of the guys confronted him and then the harassing calls got worse as he was convinced I was in love with that guy all along.”

“It was very scary.  I finally did go and talk to our Human Resources person but I am not sure he believes me.  Looking back at it all, I wish I would have picked up on the warning signs and I never would have let myself get in so deep in the first place.”

Stalking is a serious problem.  If you ever have a complaint from one of your employees about Stalking or Harassment, it is very important that you handle it seriously and professionally.  It can be difficult for someone inside of a company to see a situation objectively, so consider turning to professionals who are experienced in investigating stalking cases.  At AISG, they don’t believe anyone should have to feel pressured or afraid to go to work.  Their investigators will treat them with respect and really listen to what is going on to help your company get the evidence you need to get the stalking to stop. 

Here is some additional information that can be helpful to know:

In conjunction with the Network for Surviving Stalking, the University of Leicester has been conducting an
ongoing, international survey of stalking.   They report:

  • Half of the victims responding to the survey reported being told they were being paranoid or over-
    reacting when they confided to friends and colleagues about their stalker.  
  • 57% of victims said they did not go to the police when their stalking problem started for fear of
    being ignored or laughed at.
  • A sixth of victims in the Leicester study said they were told they were lucky to receive such
  • A third of these victims said that prior to being stalked, they’d thought that only mentally ill people
    were responsible for stalking.

Give us a call if you have an employee who feels they are being stalked.  We are professionals and are on your side.

Employees too afraid to report fraud?

Many of us have been in situations where we witness another employee cheating a company out of something – it could be merchandise theft, embezzlement or misuse of company time.  So, the question is, how many of us actually report it? 

If you are in Human Resources or if you own a company, it is important to have a specific plan in place to handle reports of possible fraud.  Maybe your employees are too afraid to come forward because they fear retaliation if the individual committing the fraud figures out who came forward.  If the person committing the fraud is also in a position of authority, the chance of someone coming forward declines further.

If you really want to be serious about eliminating fraud, make it easy for someone to come forward with information.  At AISG, they have a team of Investigators who get to the bottom of fraud because they remove the personal element.  Someone is more apt to confide in a 3rd party representative.  AISG can work it out so your employees can come straight to them and remain anonymous prior to working through Human Resources within your company.  The Investigator simply contacts HR when a claim of fraud comes in to get their approval on measures needed to investigate further.  It’s such a small way to help your employees feel more comfortable in telling the truth about fraud that may be happening in your company.  Wouldn’t you want to know?

Collecting on Child Support – it’s the children that suffer

Stephanie* was so fulfilled taking care of her 4 young children and family.  She stopped working when her first child was born, determined to be the best mother and wife possible.  She could have continued in her career but she and her husband mutually decided that being a full time mom is the most important career in the world.  Things were going along fine until her husband, Tod*,  decided life with 4 kids was too much.  He never really took an interest in the children and was becoming more and more disconnected from Stephanie.  One day he left and everything fell apart. 

While child support and alimony was eventually agreed upon, Stephanie’s ex-husband stopped paying it after 3 months.  Now it was if he dropped off the face of the earth.  No support, no contact or interest in their 4 young children. 

Unfortunately, this scenario happens all the time.  Many women find themselves losing everything and then struggle to provide for their children.  We may think it is all about maintaining the life style the mother and children are used to, but in reality, many find themselves struggling to pay the bills.  “It is so difficult” said Stephanie, “I never imagined this would happen to me.  I thought I was doing the right thing and we were getting along and now I fear we may end up on the street.  I have been out of my career too long to jump into the kind of pay I need to support my children.  If I hired a babysitter or send them to daycare, the cost would be a lot more than I’d earn.  I get aid from the government, but it is just not enough.  It’s so humiliating.  Last summer we were at the neighborhood pool with the other kids and moms and now I am struggling to just get enough money together to get new shoes for the kids and pay the utility bills in my small apartment.  If only I could find Tod and get him to take responsibility to at least help support his own children, things wouldn’t be so bad.”

With AISG, we have a soft spot in our hearts for women in Stephanie’s situation.  No child should have to suffer because of a parent’s lack of responsibility and inability to do the right thing.  We want to help.  We not only find the irresponsible party, but can also disclose hidden assets and funds that can help take care of the innocent children.   If you or someone you care about is in Stephanie’s situation, please call and talk with us about your options with a no-obligation consultation.

*Names changed to protect privacy.

A background check for on-line dating

We all hear about the importance of having background checks done, but other than knowing it’s a requirement for certain jobs, many of us don’t follow through on a personal level.

One woman (Angie)  told us the story about a man she met through on-line dating.  On line dating can often lead many couples to a lifetime of happiness - although often just because they appear to be your perfect “match”, it does not mean the information they provided is truthful.  Let’s face it, there are some people out there who are quite comfortable misrepresenting themselves if it benefits them.  Angie found out the hard way what happens when you think with your heart rather than your head:

“I was on cloud 9 and thought that finally, it’s my turn to find love.  Jon was everything I dreamed of.  He was a gentleman, he had a good job and was stable.  He treated me like a princess.  We’d laugh and talk for hours.  After a while, things didn’t always add up.  I started to wonder how honest he was with me about things.  Something finally made me decide to do a background check, although it was too late.  I already fell in love with him. 

I couldn’t believe this actually happened to me.  I am a smart woman and I can’t believe I didn’t have a better idea that this guy seemed to lie about everything!  Thank God I did the background check and found out who he was before I agreed to marry him.  My heart is broken, but it could have been worse.  I am 27 years old and still have plenty of time to find love and happiness, but I guarantee I will never get involved in on-line dating unless I first do a thorough background check on someone I might want to get to know better.  It’s not that expensive and it’s worth every penny to know what/who you are getting!”

So many men and women want to be able to trust their hearts.  So many of us want to believe in destiny and can easily get caught up thinking on-line dating will be like the TV Commercials when life is like a fairy tale.  We do live in a world where people lie.  No one wants to believe this – especially someone who thinks they finally found the love of their life.  They often feel bad when they don’t just trust the person.  They don’t want to hurt feelings if their new love finds out. 

You must think of yourself first.  A background check on a potential “love” could even save your life.

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